Sunday, August 12, 2007
hurt never manifested itself more.
today,
2 important people in my life left me.
one will be coming back in a year's time.
the other probably never.
who knew parting would be so difficult? perhaps i had taken for granted each others presence, thinking that we'll always be there for each other.
have i not earned the right to miss you after almost 6 months?
i will miss the times we shared our dreams, our hopes, our feelings, our thoughts, our opinions, our
everything.but at the same time, i wish to bottle up all my emotions and feelings, freeze all its contents and bury the bottle in the deepest region of my heart, where i will never want to look at it again and that it never be dug up.
i'll learn to stop crying, learn to be strong, and learn to forget about you.
i promised i wont cry on the phone, but i did, silently. letting my tears roll down without you knowing, masquarding an out-burst of emotions and tears as a cough. i didnt want to put down the phone, i wanted the conversation to go on and on for as long as possible. i kept stalling for time and things to say, because i know it is the last time we'll ever talk on the phone again.
30th june. the last day i met you. if i knew it was the last time i was ever going to see you again, i would have hugged you so close, kissed you so badly, teased you so gently, hold your hands so warmly, and most importantly, cry silently behind your back knowing it would be the last time that i can do all these.
now i wake up every morning, with no motivation. no one to look forward to share the day with.
you were great.
but i'll move on.
how long will it take? 1 month, 2 months, 1 year? i dont know. but i will keep going forward. i will channel my energy to another outlet, where you will be forgotten.
"it only takes a few seconds to inflict a wound upon someone, but it will take many years for the wound to heal"time will heal the wounds, i know it will. and God i pray that you will take this pain away, take it far far away.
so to all my friends, i sincerely apologise if i may appear moody or zonked out in school, i would really appreciate your understanding and patience.
one thing for sure, i wont be as cheerful or hyper as before. because hurt is manifesting itself in me.
dont ask, dont tell.
i love you,
deon.
Under the tree@
{7:08 AM.
