Thursday, February 21, 2008

i realised after 3 years, i still remain idealistic about the notion of love.

even after those painful lessons, i remain optimistic and hopeful about love, knowing that if there is one person out there for everyone, YOU're the ONE for me.

i am just afraid that those mistakes made in the past will come back and haunt me this time round.

i will never forget how blissful i felt when we held hands while watching polar bears perform tricks at the zoo.

back to the madness of chinese A2 written tasks.

480 chinese characters and counting,
deon.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

SHUCKS.

I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT I AM OFFICIALLY 18! (AS OF 7TH FEB - FIRST DAY OF CNY).

YOU were the first to wish me, and your present was thoughtful (i'll put it to good use).

and thanks to all who gave me well-wishes and presents! really appreciated them. :) and not forgetting the belated-birthday surprise by asyikin and gang.

so much for possessed year 5 girl in school. HAHAH.

whee!
deon.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

the week went by pretty quickly, with the highlight of the week being V'DAY.

this is the first time within 10 years (if i remember correctly) that i did not spend V'day with family, because i had the honour of YOU being my valentine. :)

we kinda messed up the night before, and the early morning of V'day. Pride got in our way and it had unfortunately caused you to reveal the surprise dinner you've planned for us.

nevertheless, the moment tasted both sweet and bitter, knowing that we were a little annoyed with each other, but at the same time learning about the efforts we both had put into this special day.

the night was brilliant, romantic and heart-warming. speaking of which, your walrus mating call / baby t-rex noises really tickled me that night, while we strolled along the beach.

thank you for being my valentine. :)
___________________________________________________________________

i put in more effort this year as compared to last year's V'day, with the preparation of little goodies to be given to people, and it was surprisingly more fun than expected!

some were appreciated, and some wasnt. (that bitch!)

oh well, gotta keep this short.. i have a chemistry and biology test coming up!

mdm yong asked me on friday why i was so tired after V'day. *winks. x)

WHAT DID SUSHI A SAY TO SUSHI B?
.
.
.
.
.
WASSUP B?!

:)

p.s i love you,
deon.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Friday, February 8, 2008

the thought of losing you gets me so worked up.

And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy
But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you

you cut me open,
deon.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

this post is inspired by YOU.

sometimes we get so caught up by our own ego and through the process of defending it, we would say just about anything or do anything just to protect it.

Why is there a need for any form of ego when you're in a relationship with someone?
Why cant we just let go of our pride in front of the person you claim you love?
Why wont we let down the guard to our hearts even when it comes to the person you believe you can trust?

honestly, there's only 2 people in this relationship, and we're partners, companions, (as cheesy as it sounds, i shall include soul-mates), soul-mates for each other. So why should we let our pride / ego get in our way? Could it be that apologising is one of the hardest thing to do, will it deflate one's ego to be able to admit that you're wrong to the person who loves you?

i wont love you any less if you're at wrong, neither should you if i did the same. the point is, we shouldnt even be fighting over whose fault it is, or who's right and who's wrong. we need to see beyond the objective of identifying which party is at fault, and know that when two hearts are intertwined with love, the power of love (i know - cheesy) can overcome obstacles.

like you said, "if you are bothered by anything, you must always bring it up. Regardless, I will have my say. Then we must work it out as a couple. This way of thinking will get us through any difficult times. The centre of our relationship is love, that's important. Both of us still have our voices, yet we see things as one.

p.s i saved this sms. :)

i believe there is no need for any ego between the 2 of us. i'm getting to know who you are, and it is who you are that makes me love you. i dont wish to love the person who is controlled by all that ego. i know its hard to let the guard down to your heart, because i get the fears from that too. But if you trust that i'm the one for you...

...please know that i will never intentionally hurt you in a way or another,
please know that i will hold your heart in my hands as delicately as i possibly can,
and please know that i will always have you on my mind...

i'm glad that we're both on the right path.

dont stray away from me,
deon.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

OCCUPATION: BOYFRIEND

it's not easy being someone's bf, because:

1) your salary is paid in the currency of 'love' and 'quality time spent together', and your salary fluctuates every now and then.

2) plus there is no job description or job scope, especially on what you are allowed to do and what you are forbidden to do.

3) you may be sacked anytime.

4) you have to put up with all the misunderstandings and obstacles that come along your way.

5) you may be placed on probation / left on the shelf for periods of time. (no reply from smses/phone calls)

6) working time is 24/7.

7) you have to suffer from fear, insecurity, paranoia.

8) you have to find the right balance between being responsible and over-possesive.

all that being said, i am not lamenting about the down-sides of being a bf, because i do enjoy my duty as a bf to YOU, because i cant be any more grateful knowing that i have you sharing my life with me. As mushy as that sounded, i mean it so badly.

YOU have no idea how much effect you have on me.

i cant breathe when you are upset with me, i cant sleep knowing that something is bothering you, and i cant stop thinking about you when everything you do or say about me mean the whole world to me.

you want to know why i have not lost my temper at you over the past 2 months despite the many reasons for me to do so? it's because all these arguments will only make us feel bad about ourselves and find fault in one another. i rather us not do that.

i can do 1000 things right, but all it takes is just 1 wrong to negate all that i have done right.

it is innate in us human beings that we will first seek out the wrongs that others do, and as much right as the person has done, they mean nothing because the wrong that he/she did will always outshine all the rights.

that's why its hard for people to stay together for a long time if all they see are the wrongs that their partner has done.

i am trying my best to look beyond all the things that upset us both, to remember all the good times we spent together, and i hope you can do that too, because when we look back on this journey that we have embarked on together, the happy moments are those that we truly wish to savour again.

one thing i've learnt is to be appreciative of the efforts that YOU put in. like how i would text you 'thank you for spending time with me tonight / thank you for dinner with you, it was really lovely'. i'm not trying to exaggerate my gestures, what i am trying to point out is that i appreciate YOU, and the things that we do for each other.

i rather be honest with you, than to cover up how i feel:
sometimes the emotional slammings from you can really get out of hand, they will always turn my world upside down.

but as your partner, i'll find a way around it.
___________________________________________________________________

the hug you gave me at the clinic was exceptionally warm and loving, it said to me: i'll always be by your side.
___________________________________________________________________

i would like to apologise to tyng, jun you, euginn and teck yew if i was moody at the celebration. to tyng: HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY, hope you enjoyed the night! i know it was your night, and it ended up that you were comforting me instead.

and to YOU too: for neglecting your needs and not informing you about my plans.

but always remember that you're important to me. always.

i'm not gonna let this small misunderstanding get in our way. neither should you.

Quote from Grey's Anatomy:

“We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives”

you were my unexpected surprise,
deon.

[Deon.xoxo]

[i.CRY.in.the.rain.because.no.one.can.tell]
[i.LAUGH.like.there's.no.tomorrow]
[i.SCREAM.to.let.everything.bottled-up.out]
[i.RANT.about.my.all-so-wonderful.life]


[i.want.YOU.to.hear.me.CRY.LAUGH.SCREAM.RANT]
[i.want.my.personal.wishing.tree]
[i.want.you.to.LOVE.me]


affizul
alex low
andrew.tay
asyikin
david.lai
edmund cheong
jlc
leon f.
mervyn
orion
paul.chups
sarina
tim.lim
tyng





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