Thursday, August 2, 2007
ugly truth.
ok. i am staring blankly into the computer screen trying to recall what happened throughout the day. basically, i'm
A BLOGGING ZOMBIE at the moment.
anyways, it was a rather 'appear to be busy, but not actually so' day. BUT, it was terribly LONG, with council meeting ending at 7.30. the crux about today's post isnt about how bitchy i was today, neither is it about the things i did.
it's about the pep talk with liu yi today that made me realised and understand the UGLY truth that i found it hard to swallow. he was asking me about how i found life in acsi so far, and i told him frankly that things have changed since the start of the year.
i've found a closer clique of friends, not going around to know as many people as before ( i swear i know more than half the cohort by face and name), but i would never pass up any chance to get to know someone new. IN FACT, its quite the contrary, cos i end up introducing lucy to people that she doesnt know. haha.
sounds like some match-making service.
so liu yi was telling me about how different the school cultures were, considering the fact that i was from hwa chong previously (those who dont know should go shoot yourself). and YES, i do believe that the school cultures are totally different and very drastic indeed. and i found it hard to settle down, even after 8 months of schooling, because i was brought up in another school culture.
the acs culture (to me) places more emphasis on
FUN, LAUGHTER, PEACE and JOY. whatever makes the students happy, and they tend to make jokes out of almost everything that they can lay their minds on. sometimes, going to the extent, whereby they fail to understand the seriousness of certain situations and implications, which i feel is not appropriate.
i really do love the school, and i enjoy coming to school because of my friends and teachers (with the exception of RC and TN), and the acs culture is something i really need more time to embrace. i know i am making the effort.
liu yi also told me that some people were shocked that i got into council, cos they thought that i wasnt deserving enough and kinda went up to him to question him about how i got into council. it's sad to know that people doubt you, but at the same time it makes you stronger, because you want to prove to them that you're placed there for a purpose.
i really thank those who supported me throughout the council selection. i really do. i honestly was appaulled by the fact that i got in, but am still thankful for the chance.
so liu yi feedbacked to me that i wasnt very well-received by the ruggers (no surprise), because they thought that i was different and that they
just dont like me. i wasnt surprised cos i've noticed the looks they give me all the time.
its painful, but i have to learn to deal with the fact that i cant please everyone, neither can i make everyone like me. in the end i told myself, i have to make these 2 years worthwhile, because i took a really BIG leap of faith to come to acsi, while i could have stayed in my own comfort zone in hcjc and yet the thrill and excitement of having great memories of this school tells me that this change of environment is worth it.
i really want to look back after 2 years, on prom night and find the reason to shed tears because of the memories, the friendships forged, the times spent together and most importantly, that i made the right choice to come to acsi.
i am beautiful, no matter what they say, cos words cant bring me down.
stay strong,
deon.
Under the tree@
{7:12 AM.
