Saturday, January 19, 2008
way back into love.
I have been living with a shadow overhead
I have been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I have been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can not seem to move on
I have been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I have been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can make it through without a way back into love
_____________________________________________________________________
FINALLY, i've decided to get down to give a review of 2007, and a little sneak peek about life in 2008 so far.
let's see.. so many things happened in 2007, and it was indeed an emotional roller coaster ride, filled with laughter and tears.
most importantly, i am grateful for the people who have been part of my life throughout 2007.
i dont think a lot of people know how i got into acsi (only close ones do). i took the entrance exams, submitted my impeccable portfolio, but got rejected initially. apparently, i screwed up my maths paper.
DISCLAIMER: hc used to only offer add-maths for us, and the maths paper acsi had for the entrance exam was an e-maths paper. you might think i am really stupid, because how is it possible for a student who took add-maths not be able to do an e-maths paper, but the thing is that i did not even learn any of the e-maths syllabus back then, so i screwed up the paper.
i kindly wrote an email to DP 3, explaining the reason for the shitty maths result and told her to consider my application with my sec 4 results and portfolio.
i prayed so damn freaking hard, hoping i would get in, or at least a reply from her saying she is going to offer me a place. and back in 2006 at that time, i was in taiwan when all these happened. i know this is going to sound weird, but the series of events that followed made me believe that God had wanted me to be in this school.
i was admist the mountains in taiwan, and checked into a hotel which happened to have a computer room. i logged on, checked my email and to my excitement, i received an email from carolyn (DP 3's secretary) telling me to call her asap. so while i was hiking through the forest which housed trees of hundred over years old, i whipped out my dad's cellphone and called carolyn (i didnt care about the phone bill, haha). and so, as i had anticipated, my prayers came true, and i was offered a place in acsi.
for that moment, i was jumping up and down and screaming up and down amongst those really tall trees in the forest (after i hung up of course). thats the story of how i got in. :)
____________________________________________________________________
first day in acsi was REALLY SCARY. no kidding. i have never in my life felt so much fear for humans, and humans who just keep staring at you for the matter.
I WAS IN MY HC UNIFORM, AND STICKING OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB.i was lucky to have been assigned a relatively non-hostile OG group, which of course comprised of maria kang from nanyang. i managed to click with her really quickly, and made more friends from there.
and the ONLY person i knew on the first day of school was jaime tai, and we met through maria's party. x)
everyone kept asking me why i decided to switch schools and join IB, and eventually i came up with a set of answers, and i would just repeat myself to the next person who had the same question in mind.
____________________________________________________________________
moving on.. to 5.12.
SADLY, we started out as a class which had very strong intentions to want to bond well but it back-fired. it was really fun for the first 3-4 months when everyone just did things together, sit around the same table during recess (sometimes we just squeeze like crazy). but as soon as we made our own judgements about people and formed our own cliques, the class just broke up into fragments, and it still is.
i dont think anyone wants to make an effort to bring the class together. -shrugs-
____________________________________________________________________
then there was council campaigning. made it in to the surprise of many people. was very grateful to gen, lucy and chen min for their support throughout the week. they reassured me again and over again if not i would have been hiding in the toilet and not even come out to campaign.
and so i heard that my posters made a big hu-ha. haha.
then the council term began.. and will end in term 2 week 10 2008.
____________________________________________________________________
fast forwarding..
i found my close group of friends, and i am VERY sure you all know who you are. let me tell you something: i really dont know how to get by school without you all, and you all shelter me from all the hostility that others show to me, help me believe in myself and the things i do.
i just wanna say that i am very grateful for you all. and a BIG THANK YOU TOO. :)
in no order of merit, kudos to sean, john, yew jin, lucy, gen, chen min, javier, sarah, han an (sometimes HAHA), and gareth (who is someone i am starting to be fond of as a friend).
____________________________________________________________________
and AGAIN, when you have close friends, you are bound to meet bitches in school. i wont give names, but its pretty clear who i dont get along with in school.
i told gen that school is like a mini simulation of what the corporate world is going to be in the future. bitches, back-stabbers, gossipers, two-faced creatures will always be around to make your day miserable.
sometimes you fight back because you shouldnt be walked over by them. if i have to kick your ass, I WILL.
____________________________________________________________________
and then there was the crazy and really stressful period before WOW, when we were plunged into the bottomless pit of never ending work from maths portfolio and group 4 project report. i recall sitting in front of the computer and typing aimlessly away, that was how zombified i was. haha.
WOW wasnt as touching as i had expected it to be (i'm being brutally honest here), but i am really glad that we did what we could to brighten up the lives of the village school children. and WOW was when i really got to know lucy as a friend, and i must say that she made the WOW trip enjoyable for me.
____________________________________________________________________
then the mugging period and EOY's came and ended so swiftly. nothing interesting happened. and i wouldnt consider stress interesting.
____________________________________________________________________
HOLIDAYS KICKED ASS. went for arabian night with the usual peeps, and i will never forget that day, because it's the first day we met, then the zoo trip the next day made me realised that i really want to be with YOU.
lots of outing with the peeps, and dates with YOU to fill the last two months of 2007. i wasnt very active with my assignments, mainly EE and TOK, but did what i thought would be reasonably enough not to land me into major stress mood in 2008. (and so apparently i thought wrong. haha.)
plus i finally got to meet javier in person!! :)
and in november,
i started a new chapter of my life with YOU, and we'll keep filling in the stories for a long long time.like john said, i didnt feel any regret for the way i spent my holidays, because i had fun, i got my well-deserved break, i got to hang out with my friends, and they were spent with YOU.
2007 saved the best for the last 2 months. :)
____________________________________________________________________
overall, 2007 went much smoother than i had expected it to be, because i thought the sudden change of school environment would spiral me into a long period of adaptation.
i pray that 2008 will be a fruitful year.
i pray that i will be able to get the results i desire.
i pray that my friendships will grow stronger.
and finally,
i pray that we will grow from months to years.goodbye 2007, 2008 brings new dreams, aspirations and motivations.
it's a new chapter with you,
deon.
Under the tree@
{7:59 AM.