Saturday, February 2, 2008
all it takes is just one flaw.
OCCUPATION: BOYFRIENDit's not easy being someone's bf, because:
1) your salary is paid in the currency of 'love' and 'quality time spent together', and your salary fluctuates every now and then.
2) plus there is no job description or job scope, especially on what you are allowed to do and what you are forbidden to do.
3) you may be sacked anytime.
4) you have to put up with all the misunderstandings and obstacles that come along your way.
5) you may be placed on probation / left on the shelf for periods of time. (no reply from smses/phone calls)
6) working time is 24/7.
7) you have to suffer from fear, insecurity, paranoia.
8) you have to find the right balance between being responsible and over-possesive.
all that being said, i am not lamenting about the down-sides of being a bf, because i do enjoy my duty as a bf to YOU, because i cant be any more grateful knowing that i have you sharing my life with me. As mushy as that sounded, i mean it so badly.
YOU have no idea how much effect you have on me.
i cant breathe when you are upset with me, i cant sleep knowing that something is bothering you, and i cant stop thinking about you when everything you do or say about me mean the whole world to me.
you want to know why i have not lost my temper at you over the past 2 months despite the many reasons for me to do so? it's because all these arguments will only make us feel bad about ourselves and find fault in one another. i rather us not do that.
i can do 1000 things right, but all it takes is just 1 wrong to negate all that i have done right.
it is innate in us human beings that we will first seek out the wrongs that others do, and as much right as the person has done, they mean nothing because the wrong that he/she did will always outshine all the rights.
that's why its hard for people to stay together for a long time if all they see are the wrongs that their partner has done.
i am trying my best to look beyond all the things that upset us both, to remember all the good times we spent together, and i hope you can do that too, because when we look back on this journey that we have embarked on together, the happy moments are those that we truly wish to savour again.
one thing i've learnt is to be appreciative of the efforts that YOU put in. like how i would text you 'thank you for spending time with me tonight / thank you for dinner with you, it was really lovely'. i'm not trying to exaggerate my gestures, what i am trying to point out is that i appreciate YOU, and the things that we do for each other.
i rather be honest with you, than to cover up how i feel:
sometimes the emotional slammings from you can really get out of hand, they will always turn my world upside down.
but as your partner,
i'll find a way around it.___________________________________________________________________
the hug you gave me at the clinic was exceptionally warm and loving, it said to me:
i'll always be by your side.___________________________________________________________________
i would like to apologise to tyng, jun you, euginn and teck yew if i was moody at the celebration. to tyng: HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY, hope you enjoyed the night! i know it was your night, and it ended up that you were comforting me instead.
and to YOU too: for neglecting your needs and not informing you about my plans.
but always remember that you're important to me. always.
i'm not gonna let this small misunderstanding get in our way. neither should you.
Quote from Grey's Anatomy:
“We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met.
But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing.
Still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives”
you were my unexpected surprise,
deon.
Under the tree@
{7:36 PM.
